Pull up a seat and have a steaming cup with me as we discuss issues central to the west-indian community, the african-american community and the LGBT community.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Tomorrow is the second annual Earth Hour

Please set aside one hour for the planet tomorrow (Saturday, March 29th) by turning out all your lights between the hours of eight and nine pm. Then, encourage all your friends and family to do the same. That one hour will make a difference you won't believe! Check out this video.

Still no LOGO for the Bahamas

This isn't a new story by any means but as I was sitting on the couch last night watching a great program on the LOGO channel I was reminded of the fact that gays and lesbians in my own home country aren't so privileged. In a country where gays and lesbians are already so oppressed a channel like LOGO would be a kind of oasis in the middle of the desert but so far the Bahamas Christian Council (who basically run our country) still won't budge and allow the channel to be included in Cable Bahamas' line-up. How Sad.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Best Days

You may remember this song from Hollywood week on American Idol or if you watch the Sundance Channel they use it from time to time on promos. It has exploded recently and I understand why because Best Days makes me feel really good even on the worst days. It reminds me that life's short and right now, not in the future, not in the past but right now... these are the best days of our lives! I need that message from time to time. So here's Best Days by Graham Colton.

With everything I've ever done I'd give it all to everyone For one more day
Another night I'm waking through Another door I walk into I can't break
And it's a winding road
And it's a long way home
So don't wait For someone to tell you it's too late Cause these are the best days
There's always something tomorrow So I say let's make the best of tonight
Here comes the rest of our lives
I count the steps The distance to The time when it was me and you It's so far gone Another face, Another friend, Another place, Another end, But I'll hang on
And it's a winding road
And it's a long way home
So don't wait For someone to tell you it's too late Cause these are the best days
There's always something tomorrow So I say let's make the best of tonight Yeah, let's make the best of tonight Here comes the rest of our lives Rest of our lives
And it's a winding road It's a long way home So don't wait For someone to tell you it's too late Cause these are the best days There's always something tomorrow So I say let's make the best of it Don't wait Cause no one can tell you it's too late Cause these are the best days
There's always something tomorrow So I say let's make the best of tonight Yeah, let's make the best of tonight We'll make the best of tonight Here comes the rest of our lives

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

How To: "Look Gay" (for Women)

Are they for real? I thought this was HILARIOUS.

From Wiki-How-To
Many lesbian and bisexual women find it hard to meet like-minded girls because looking "straight" puts them at a disadvantage. Potential suitors, unless they have an expertly honed "gaydar," which most of us don't, will in many cases assume that a girl is not into girls because she shows no outward signs of being gay and not approach her - no matter how attractive she is.
The first step is to remember not to change who you are or completely transform your look. You must be true to yourself to feel comfortable. Confidence is the single most important step you can take to make yourself attractive to anyone.

  • Hang out at places where lesbians like to go. Many bars and clubs have "girls nights" where you can meet other lesbians and observe fashion and personal styling tips. Just being there will make you appear gayer and will significantly increase your chances of meeting someone special.

  • Join a gay dating site. This way, there will be no question as to whether you're looking to meet a girl.

  • If you feel comfortable with the idea, cut your hair short. A short back and sides styled into a fauxhawk is sure to get you a lot of female attention.

  • Many lesbians prefer to have long hair - if this is the case, make sure it looks good, but not over-styled with accessories that are too feminine. Healthy and clean is the look you're going for here.

  • Keep your nails short and neat. Long nails, particularly false, can make girls appear straight - so avoid this look.

  • If you're comfortable with everyone knowing your sexuality, wear a t-shirt with a lesbian slogan or image. These are available from shops in gay districts and many adult shops. Failing this, a shirt featuring a band that appeals to lesbians eg the Indigo Girls, Betty, the Organ etc will help and is more tasteful.

  • Put a rainbow sticker on your car or laptop. These are available at adult shops and online. Tip - it's unfortunate, but true, that in this day and age homophobia still exists, so if you use a company vehicle or computer, be prepared to remove a rainbow sticker if asked to do so.
    Wear rainbow jewellery or have a rainbow keyring/laniard. If a lesbian is attracted to you, her instinct will tell her to look for clues that you're into girls - so an item like this, as small as it may be, will provide a huge advantage.

  • Wear pants rather than a dress or skirt to work. A collared shirt with a tie looks hot and definitely looks gay.

  • Wear flat shoes or boots. Avoid high heels. Steel-capped boots, Birkenstock sandals or Chuck Taylors are great.

  • Wear minimal makeup and keep your look casual. Nobody likes dirty or untidy women, so put some effort in, just keep it simple and funky, not dressy and glam.

  • If you wear glasses, strong-looking, dark frames are popular with lesbians. If they suit your face, these are a good choice.

  • Wear comfortable, cotton underwear with a masculine, wide elastic waistband. Do not put too much effort into exposing the waistband, it will show when you move and other lesbians will notice it.

Friday, March 21, 2008

The Mess of Good Friday

When you read the Gospel accounts of Jesus’ final Friday, “good” isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. In Matthew’s account, for example, we are confronted with an ugly mess: betrayal, suicidal hanging, false accusations, freeing a murderer, blind anomisity, crowd-pleasing leader, mocking, beating, scourging, shame, nakedness, blasphemy, brutal crucifixion, God-forsakenness, death. Ugliness, not beauty, adorns this account.
So why do we call it Good Friday? In short, because victorious resurrection requires death, new life blooms from decay, and beauty is known only in relation to ugliness. Good Friday is also good because we realize there is a death of death in the death of Christ (in the words of John Owen).
Despite the goodness of Good Friday, this holy day brings a soberness to our spirituality. We realize that Jesus’ way is our way: a way of suffering, betrayal, and cross-bearing. In our earthly pilgrimage, we will never rise above the mess and ugliness of this Jesus way. Resurrection is a reality worked out in the context of Good Friday. Good Friday gives us reason to be sober; Easter gives us reason to celebrate. Salvation is now but not yet. Rejoice! Be sober-minded. It’s the Jesus way.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Artist of the Day:

This young lady's not only absolutely gorgeous, her pipes are reminiscent of Whitney and Mariah and trust me when I say, I don't say that lightly. It seems every new female artist on the scene these days with even the slightest amount of talent gets compared to the two greats but this young lady may actually be deserving. She is definitely someone to watch in the coming years. Don't believe me? You can always check YouTube for her 'Bleeding Love" video but we all know the true test is the live performance so here she is on Oprah.

Cop her Album 'Spirit' out now.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

'Gay Discrimination' Outlawed in the Bahamas?

Report calls for gay discrimination to be outlawed By ROGAN M. SMITH, Guardian Senior
Reporter, rogan@nasguard.com

A U.S. human rights report is urging The Bahamas to make it illegal to discriminate against people in employment, housing or public accommodations because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. The report, which was released last week, said that there is still no legislation to address the continuing discrimination against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people in The Bahamas. Although homosexual relations between consenting adults is legal in The Bahamas, there is no legislation to address the group's social rights. In March 2006, the Constitutional Review Commission ruled that sexual orientation did not deserve protection against discrimination. Societal discrimination against homosexuals also continues. Last September, religious organizations and individual activists opposed a request by a gay rights group for the cable monopoly to add a gay and lesbian channel to its programming, the report noted. The request triggered a backlash against the homosexual community. In the ensuing media controversy, some opponents called for the re-criminalizing of homosexual acts, and religious leaders criticized a major newspaper for giving what they considered "undue" coverage to the gay rights group.

The organizer of a gay and lesbian cruise accused authorities of harassment, after a party at a downtown club was shut down on October 7, due to alleged lewd behavior and immigration violations. However, police officials denied inappropriate conduct. The report also said that sensationalistic media reporting of reputed gay links in two high-profile murders in Nassau in November, under police investigation at year's end, reflected the atmosphere of societal intolerance. Last year, fashion noted handbag designer Harl Taylor and College of the Bahamas (COB) dean, Dr. Thaddeus McDonald were murdered in their homes. Their murderers have still not been found. The full contents of the report can be found online at http://www.state.gov under Human Rights: Annual Reports Released.http://www.thenassauguardian.com/nat...0416855343.php

Monday, March 17, 2008

March's Fave Fives!

It's that time of the month again. No... not that time of the month - it's time for my "fave five" where I bring you five of my most favorite things of the month - think a very low budget Oprah's favorite things.

5)I heard this water by Glacéau Vitamin Water was good but I shied away from it simply because my experience with other vitamin enhanced waters hadn't been so pleasant. To me they all tasted like sour water with only a hint of a flavor somewhere at the bottom of the bottle. But, when the store around the corner had these on sale, I decided to give them a shot. I was instantly impressed; not because each bottle contains Vitamin C, B3, B5, B6, B12, and E, but because even with all that, they still taste amazing! With interesting flavors like, Jackfruit-Guava and Acai-Blueberry-Pomegranate among many others, it tastes more like juice than water. I like 'em alot.

4) Socks are socks.. no? As long as they don't have holes in them, anything will do right? Well Maybe. But, if you're looking for apair of socks that will make your feet thank you, try these Calvin Klein socks. I snagged them from my girlfriend's sock drawer (aka, a shoebox in her closet since she has no space for a sock drawer in her actual dresser-can you say, 'too many clothes?') ,one particularly chilly night when my feet were FREEZING and as soon as I slipped them on I swear I heard my 'dogs' go, 'ahhh'. Not only were they indeed 'warm and toasty', they seemed to literally hug my feet and envelope them in comfort. Now I steal...ahem..borrow them from my girlfriend as soon as they come out of the dryer.

3)I first experimented with Windows Movie Maker back in November when I decided to make a home movie in honor of my girlfriend and I's second year anniversary. Even with my limited technology skills, it came out great and was super easy to create! Recently, I've been working on another movie project and I'm still pleasantly surprised at how user-friendly movie maker is. I first tried making my second movie on my girlfriend's Mac and found myself utterly lost for a good hour. That's when I came back to my trusty PC and had my movie up and running in no time. There are a ton of cool features that are visually pleasing without being overwhelming. Now that I'm getting good at it, maybe I'll start broadcasting a video blog one day or perhaps the cat and I will make some silly vids for YouTube :)
2)Does it get any better than Häagen-Dazs Icecream? Not really. Unless you're talking about their Sticky Toffee Pudding flavor.Move over Rocky Road, it's become my all-time favorite icecream ever- and that's saying a lot. It came about as the result of Häagen-Dazs 2006 'Scoop!' contest. The creator entered it as a tribute to the English dessert, 'Sticky Toffee Pudding' that she loved so much and she won! Not only is it a very unique flavor that you won't find anywhere but Häagen-Dazs, it's so smooth and creamy too. Häagen-Dazs describes the flavor as: rich vanilla ice cream swirled with sticky toffee sauce and morsels of moist brown sugar cake.

I describe it as: delicious .

I've been reading Relevant magazine for a couple years now but every month I still find myself glued to the pages again. For the young Christian in today's world -- actually, for any young person trying to find direction as they wade through all the junk of pop culture -- it's essential. It's not like other Christian literature,(in fact they seem to shy away from using the word Christian to describe the magazine), it's fresh, smart and ...well...relevant. It was actually handed to me at a party while I was in college - imagine that. A friend of mine had been reading it and was pretty impressed so she handed it to me and told me to glance at it. Common was on the cover of that issue so I was quite interested and gave it a little more than a glance later on that week. I subscribed soon after. Relevant's mission statement is: Covering God, Life and Progressive Culture , so you're just as likely to find an interview with say, Kanye as you are to find an interview with the hottest new preacher trying to change the world. There are album, book and movie/DVD reviews as well as inspirational stories and tips about how to live a better, more fulfilling life. Peek inside the latest issue featuring Chris Martin from Coldplay as well as Bono,Ben Harper,Matisyahu,Anne Lamott,Moby,Daft Punk, MIA and more.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Celebrate me Home

The old Kenny Loggins tune has been revamped by Ruben Studdard and will be used as the new 'exit' song for the ousted American Idols. The notoriety should be good for Ruben whom no-one has heard from in a while it seems. Last night after David Hernandez was booted was the first time the song was used but I absolutely love this tune - makes me cry everytime- so I'm excited to hear more of it. Too bad it will be at the 'idol's' expense. I'm sure they won't be looking forward to hearing it on Wednesday nights.

Check out Kenny Loggins sing it.

"Belly Yuck" To Keep Your Man? (Only in the Bahamas right?)

By Nadine Thomas-Brown, Nassau Guardian Religion Reporter, nadine@nasguard.com

City of Praise Church pastor Arthur Duncombe drew the ire of many Christians after he brought a popular Jamaican female deejay to The Bahamas to allegedly demonstrate the dance move known as the "Belly Yuck" to his congregation.
Pastor Duncombe was a guest on Joy FM's "Joy In The Morning" show with Kevin Harris, last week, where he defended his actions, saying that teaching his congregation the "Belly Yuck" was a means of helping them to keep their husbands from being enticed away. He also said that he had contemplated bringing in Indian dancers as well as Hawaiian dancers in consecutive years to help the members, comments which spurred furious calls by members of the public to the program, who were concerned that a secular person was being brought in to teach Christians anything.
Jamaican female performer "Macka Diamond", a dance hall singer known for the popular song "Bu'n Him" was the deejay at the seminar entitled "Angels By Day, Monsters By Night" conference held for married and engaged couples of Pastor Duncombe's church on Ajax St.
Duncombe told The Nassau Guardian that the conference gave Christian women some "know how" in the battle to keep their husbands interested in them sexually, a concern he said many Christian men and women had brought before him over the course of his eight years as a pastor.
He was quick to defend his stance. He said that many Christian women were so caught up in their "Christianity" that they were neglecting their spousal duties and this was his way of trying to teach his congregation that intercourse between married couples was ordained by God, and that the very nature of how humans came into being should show that our maker had no problems with the act.
Despite the uproar in the community, members of the congregation said that the performer only spoke to the congregation, and did not dance. Joann Ferguson, 39, a Christian woman who has been married for five years attended the conference and said that she believed that it was relevant and extremely important to Christian couples. "It was enlightening, interesting and very informative."

"We have a lot of Christian marriages which are falling apart and sex is a very important part of marriage," she said, adding that while many women were Christians, many of their husbands were not and that realistically they had to, "rest the Holy Ghost down and perform the duties of a wife. You can't be too sanctifies to satisfy," she said.
As to whether Diamond was the right person to bring in to speak to the group, Ferguson said that throughout daily we take advice from people who were also in the secular world, and that adults are capable of listening, and inevitably making their own choices with the help of God. "We would save more sinners if we as Christians were more real," she said.
Ferguson said that the women and men were split in two groups for the conference, with "Macka Diamond" responsible for the women while, Pastor Robert Coakley from City Of Praise Church instructed the men.
Sheryl Christie-Smith, 49, who has been married for two years said that she found the conference educational, especially for a woman who has been in the church many years, and lost one husband, partly because of the lack of communication on sexual matters. "He was a Christian as well, [but] both of us were just too holy to commit or share our intimacy feelings with each other," she said.
With her new husband who is not saved, Christie said that she had come to realize the importance of that aspect of married life and was determined to learn all she could to keep the fires burning. "You have to keep your bedroom business, and marriage is honorable in the sight of God and the bed is undefiled," she said.

The "Belly Yuck" is the focus of a song of the same name by singer Kirkland "KB" Bodie, and one of the key elements to doing the dance is putting your back and shoulders on the ground, lifting your waist or hips and gyrating. Acknowledging that he has heard the severe negative criticisms, Duncombe says that he has also received positive comments from members of the community. This is the second such conference that Pastor Duncombe's church has put on.

However, "Joy In The Morning" host, Harris, said that it was unfortunate that the conference went ahead despite the outcry by so many people. "There is a need to address sexuality within the church and to be open and transparent about it and to help Christians who are struggling. Singles who are approaching marriage should be told within the proper confines but I was totally against the idea that we needed to have a secular reggae artist into the four walls of the church, or anywhere that the church was holding an event to explain, show or demonstrate anything as it regards the fulfillment of one's partner."

Harris also believes that Duncombe should have sought more counsel before he went ahead with the event. He also said that Duncombe now risks a double standard as it relates to the youth because the pastor could not expect the youth of his church to listen to him when he told them not to listen to [Reggae] music which he [Harris] views as inappropriate for young ears. Nevertheless, Duncombe argues that other secular people have been brought in over the years by pastors to teach Christians in other areas such as finance. A point that Harris says is invalid.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Lawmaker says gays are worse than terrorists!

Last week, a secret recording emerged of a disturbing speech by Oklahoma Representative Sally Kern stating that homosexuality is a bigger threat to our nation than "terrorism or Islam." Rep. Kern has refused to apologize for her remarks.

Hateful speech by elected officials must not be tolerated – especially when hate crimes based on religion and sexual orientation are on the rise. Tell Oklahoma's Governor, Speaker of the House, and Senate President Pro Tempore to publicly condemn Rep. Kern's statements.

Do so here : HRC website . There's a petition already filled out for you. After you sign up just click send and it's that simple. To quote a newly famous slogan, "Yes We Can!!"

Talk About Hogging the Bathroom!

Woman sits on boyfriend's toilet for 2 years

Girlfriend was physically stuck to the seat — her skin had grown around it.

NESS CITY, Kan. - Deputies said a woman in western Kansas sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years, and they're investigating whether she was mistreated.
Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said a man called his office last month to report that something was wrong with his girlfriend.
Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman’s skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

“We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” Whipple said. “The hospital removed it.”
Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend.
“She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body,” Whipple said. “It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself.”
He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.
“And her reply would be, ‘Maybe tomorrow,”’ Whipple said. “According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom.”
The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that “there was something wrong with his girlfriend,” Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.
Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh. She was “somewhat disoriented,” and her legs looked like they had atrophied, Whipple said.
“She said that she didn’t need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave,” he said.
She was taken to a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City. Whipple said she has refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators.
Authorities said they did not know if she was mentally or physically disabled.
Police have declined to release the couple’s names, but the house where authorities say the incident happened is listed in public records as the residence of Kory McFarren. No one answered his home phone number.
The case has been the buzz in Ness City, said James Ellis, a neighbor.
“I don’t think anybody can make any sense out of it,” he said.
Ellis said he had known the woman since she was a child but that he had not seen her for at least six years.
He said she had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up. At one time the woman worked for a long-term care facility, he said, but he did not know what kind of work she did there.
“It really doesn’t surprise me,” Ellis said of the bathroom incident. “What surprises me is somebody wasn’t called in a bit earlier.”

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


My girlfriend and I were almost in tears last night when we heard the news: Showtime drama the L Word will not be renewed after next season. After five incredible seasons there will only be ten more episodes (there are still two left in this season) until we have to suck it up and say goodbye to these wonderful women that we've, in many ways, formed beautiful friendships with through the screen --not to mention a few crushes.

I can't believe this. I'm utterly confused and frankly a little pissed. On the one hand I realize that all good things must come to an end..yada,yada,yada and/or the show's creator and executive producer, Ilene Chaiken be trying to utilize the ole "leave on a good note" logic.But on the other hand, the show,for me, is only getting better and there are sooooo many more avenues to explore.

Oh well, I guess crying about it will do no good now I suppose. No. All we can do is enjoy the episodes we have left and hope this exceptional series will inspire more shows like it in the future. Another bright note : although the writers seemed determined to wrap the season up in eight episodes, they are welcoming viewer suggestions for storylines. They have a very good reputation for hearing fans out too as we've seen in many episodes. So all you L Word fans out there, let them know what you want to see happen with our girls!

Here are a few suggestions my girlfriend and I came up with last night:

  • She'd like to see Shane finally settle down -- preferably with Carmen -- so that would mean they'd have to bring Carmen back. But I think the chances of that may be slim since I heard Sarah Shahi (Carmen) didn't leave under the best circumstances -- aka, she either quit or was thrown out.

  • I don't care if Carmen and Shane get back together, I'd just like to see Carmen come back and have Shane grovel at her feet ..apologizing for cheating on her and then leaving her at the altar. Carmen was never given the chance to tell us how she felt after it all happened.

  • She'd like to see Bette and Tina together once and for all because let's face it, the back and forth is making us all dizzy.

  • I'd like to see a wedding on the show. It could be Bette and Tina, or Alice and Tasha or maybe something unexpected like Max and whats-his-name (Jodi's (Marlee Maitlin) translator).

So those are a few of our suggestions -- we have many more :) what can we say? we're die-hard L Word fans. I can't believe they're going away :(

Excuse me while I grab a hankie.

This Case Gets Even More Tragic

Ledger's will leaves nothing to daughter
published Monday, March 10, 2008

Heath Ledger's will leaves nothing to his former girlfriend and their 2-year-old daughter because it was never updated after they became part of his life.
A copy of the three-page will, filed in Manhattan Surrogate Court, shows the 28-year-old Australian actor left everything he owned to his parents and three sisters. The document, filed in Australia in 2003, offers no hint at the size of the estate he left.
Papers filed with the will list the Brokeback Mountain star's New York City belongings, valued at $145,000.

Ledger's father, Kim, has said the family would make sure the actor's former girlfriend, actress Michelle Williams, and that their 2-year-old daughter, Matilda Rose, would be provided for, according to published reports. (AP)

Friday, March 7, 2008

Isn't Lauren London A Vision??

Hmmm, but I digress before I get into trouble. I hear my girlfriend calling me.

Gay Marriage Gains Notice In State Court

Published: March 6, 2008

On the way home from work in Rochester, Patricia Martinez stopped at a liquor store and bought a small bottle of Champagne to celebrate her marriage to another woman. The wedding took place in Canada nearly four years ago, but it wasn’t until Feb. 1 that a New York appellate court declared it valid in the state.

Photo Credit : James Rajotte for The New York Times

Patricia Martinez, top, and Lisa Ann Golden at their home outside Rochester. A state court found that their Canadian marriage entitled Ms. Golden to spousal benefits from Ms. Martinez’s job. Last week in Manhattan, a State Supreme Court justice, ruling in a divorce proceeding, recognized the Canadian marriage of two New York City women, known publicly as Beth R. and Donna M. — or Mom and Mommy to the two young children they had been raising together.

Less than two years after New York’s highest court refused to legalize gay marriage, leaving it up to a divided Legislature, courts in Rochester and Manhattan, as well as state and local officials, have begun to carry out what some say is the de facto legalization of gay marriage — and gay divorce — in New York for the price of, say, a ticket to Toronto.
Advocates for same-sex marriage say the two court decisions last month granting reciprocity in New York to gay marriages in other jurisdictions simply underline what most people would consider common sense.

“If a heterosexual couple got married in France and then came here, they would be married,” said Jeffrey Wicks, a lawyer who represented Ms. Martinez in cooperation with the New York Civil Liberties Union. “We recognize foreign marriages, just the same as we recognize Mexican divorces.” But opponents are not giving up so easily. Both rulings are being appealed, and the Alliance Defense Fund, a national organization opposed to same-sex marriage, has gone to court to challenge policy decisions by the Westchester County executive, the state comptroller and the state Civil Service Department granting benefits to gay couples married out of state. On Monday, a State Supreme Court justice in Albany upheld the Civil Service Department’s authority to recognize gay marriage, citing the Martinez decision as a precedent.

Recognition of same-sex marriage is a huge change that “should not be something that bypasses the democratic process,” said Brian Raum, senior legal counsel for the Alliance Defense Fund. “The issue is percolating up through the court system, and ultimately it’s one that the Court of Appeals is going to have to resolve so there isn’t any inconsistency,” he said.

New York has become a testing ground for gay marriage reciprocity because most other states have pre-empted it by passing Defense of Marriage Acts, which explicitly prohibit gay marriage. Only one state, Massachusetts, allows gay marriage, though the Supreme Courts of Connecticut and California are considering the issue. In New Jersey, where the Legislature has approved civil unions, the attorney general’s office has said that same-sex marriages performed in Massachusetts or in countries including Canada and the Netherlands should be called civil unions, not marriages, though both have the same rights and obligations.
Just two years ago, it seemed that gay marriage was at a dead end in New York. The state’s high court, the Court of Appeals, ruled in July 2006 that the state’s Constitution did not compel the recognition of same-sex marriage, and that it was up to the Legislature to change the traditional definition of marriage.

So far, that has not happened. A bill passed the Assembly 85 to 61 last June, but has been stalled in the Senate. Advocates say that the patchwork of laws and decisions about gay marriage across the country has put gay couples and their families in a kind of legal limbo. “Marriage law aims at providing stability to couples, but when couples don’t know whether their marriage will be recognized from one place to another, there’s a loss,” said Suzanne Goldberg, director of the Sexuality and Gender Law Clinic at Columbia Law School.
The case of Beth R. vs. Donna M. in the State Supreme Court illustrated some of the legal gray areas for a couple who were raising two children together. While the ruling validated their marriage, it actually came in the midst of a divorce proceeding. The decision was reported by The New York Post last week.

The women, who have not made their full names public but who both work in the media, met in 1999 and moved in together in 2002, the court’s decision said. Donna M. became pregnant by artificial insemination in 2003, and just before the baby was due, the couple, who live in Manhattan, went to Toronto and took out a marriage license. But they postponed the wedding because of a death in the family.

They took out a second license and were married on Feb. 14, 2004, after the birth of the first child but before the birth of a second child, also by artificial insemination.

According to the judge’s decision, the plaintiff, Beth R., coached her partner through the births of both children, cut their umbilical cords and gave the children her last name. The couple sent out birth announcements. They taught the older girl to call her biological mother Mommy, and Beth R. was Mom. They chose a nanny, and went to preschool conferences. Donna M. named Beth R. as the children’s guardian, although they were never adopted.
But last April, Donna M., the biological mother, served an eviction notice on Beth R. A week later, Beth R. filed for divorce, so she could “legally end the marriage and someday move on if she wants,” said Susan Sommer, her lawyer and senior counsel for Lambda Legal, a gay rights legal group. Beth R. wanted “equitable distribution of marital property,” according to her divorce filing, and to ensure a continuing relationship with the children, including giving them financial support, her lawyer said.

The divorce action put the defendant, Donna M., in the peculiar position of arguing that their marriage was invalid and, therefore, there could be no divorce. Her lawyer, Bettina D. Hindin, said in an interview last week that her client, who is nearly 40, had had children because her biological clock was ticking and that she had been pressured into a marriage ceremony — a “shotgun type of situation” — which she thought of as just a symbolic commitment. “You can stand in front of a rabbi or a priest, and it’s not a marriage,” Ms. Hindin said. “It’s like staging a murder. You can make it look like a murder, but it’s not necessarily a murder.”

But the State Supreme Court Justice, Laura E. Drager, disagreed, saying that New York honors marriages performed out of state unless they are specifically prohibited by law, which gay marriage is not, or “abhorrent to public policy,” as in cases of incest or polygamy.
The presumption of reciprocity is so strong that even a marriage between an uncle and his niece, which would have been forbidden in New York, was recognized in New York after it was performed in Rhode Island, she wrote in her Feb. 25 ruling.

The lawyers said that having upheld the validity of the marriage, the judge will now move to traditional questions in a divorce like grounds, custody, visitation and financial support for the children, alimony and distribution of marital property. Roberta A. Kaplan, who argued the case for gay marriage before the high court in 2006, said the Beth R. case showed that gay breakups could be just as bitter as straight ones, and needed the same legal protections. “It’s a very depressing way of looking at the world, but this stuff is most important when bad things happen — if there’s a death, if there’s a split,” Ms. Kaplan said.

In the Rochester case, the Canadian marriage between Ms. Martinez and Lisa Ann Golden was recognized by the Appellate Division of State Supreme Court in Monroe County, which ordered that Ms. Martinez’s health benefits from her job as an administrator at a community college should be extended to her spouse. Monroe County argued that the marriage violated public policy as reflected in the 2006 Court of Appeals decision, and said it would appeal.
Justice Drager cited the Rochester case as a precedent, and Ms. Sommer said that the Monroe County appellate decision is binding on lower courts throughout New York until there is a contrary ruling from another appellate court. Attorney General Andrew M. Cuomo filed a supporting brief in the Rochester case, saying that reciprocity for same-sex marriage “is the declared policy of the state.”

The trend in court, Ms. Sommer contended, “just helps give an air of inevitability” to same-sex marriage. For her part, Ms. Martinez said that since the court decision, she and Ms. Golden had gone from feeling like they had checked their marriage at the border to feeling like newlyweds. “Now we feel that we are very married in New York,” she said.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Small Fry

When I was a kid, I loved Max Fleischer cartoons. My two favorites were, Somewhere in Dreamland (1936) about two very poor children who go to bed one night and wake up in 'dreamland' which for them is a land with ice-cream fields,syrup rivers and cake mountains...where it rains candy all day and there are more toys than you could play with in a lifetime. I think every child, rich or poor from the beginning of civilization until now has had this dream.

My next favorite was 'Small Fry' (1939) about "Junior Catfish who skips school to hang out at the pool hall. Mama was worried he might have been caught by a fisherman instead. He returns home for dinner, then sneaks back to the pool hall for the meeting of the Big Fry Club. For his initiation, he's sent into a cave full of scary things that ultimately send him running back to mama's arms."

For some reason, 'Small Fry' crossed my mind today so I looked it up on YouTube. Of course YouTube has everything so I found it and watched it again after all these years.I was amazed. It still has a wonderful message but also elements we would never see in a cartoon of today; elements I never noticed until now: heavy tobacco usage, mention of spanking with a shoe, drug usage, and the final scene was actually really scary for me as a kid. lol.

It's funny, kids back then were so much less messed up than kids today...I guess it just goes to show...it must not be what they're watching.The problem must lie somewhere else.

Barack on Equality

I copped this from another blog and I'm so happy I found it. I hadn't seen this before but I love it. This is why Obama gets my 'vote' even though I can't legally drop a ballot into a box. To say this in front of a predominantly African-American and heterosexual crowd - the man has guts. This is the kind of politician America needs.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Some are Calling it 'Critical Tuesday'

By Mikhaela B. Reid

My New L Word Crush?

Yeah, call me a stereotypical lesbian who's glued to the TV every Sunday night clinging to every second of the L Word - yup I'm guilty. But, I can't help it. It's not every day you see a show centered around beautiful, lesbian women that's well written, 'hot' and exciting. I love it. The only criticism I have is that, even though the cast is pretty diverse, I can't help but wish there were more african-american lesbians on there. But, for now, I take what I can get!

My girlfriend is of course in love with Shane (Kate Moennig). Who isn't right? Well, besides me - not really my type if you know what I mean.

I've always been a Bette (Jennifer Beals) fan. That whole 'vamp' hidden beneath a professional woman's exterior? So sexy.

Then Carmen (Sarah Shahi) came along and every scene she was in would cause me to break out into a cold sweat. She was way too gorgeous to be putting up with Shane's mess and I hoped they would have them break up. Be careful what you wish for right? Right after Shane ditched her at the altar, her character disappeared from the show - never to be seen again. I'm still devasted about that. She was delicious. Oh Well.

Recently, though, I've had a new L Word crush - not on a new character either- well not really. It's on Alice (Leisha Hailey). She's been a member of the cast since the very beginning but in my mind there's been something very new about her lately. I always thought of her as more of a 'homie' -- you know, the cool girl next door that you hang out with but never really get with? Then again, maybe girl next door is not the best description for me since my first crush/love and my first kiss (when I was ten) was with my 'girl next door' - literally. I could step off my driveway and into her yard..and I did... A LOT! Anyway, you get my point.

Uh-huh,Alice has really come into her own this season. Her quirky, no-nonsense personality is a turn on but more than that, is it just me or is she like ten times hotter on the whole lately? The last few episodes especially have had me doing double takes. Go Alice! I'm still a die-hard Bette fan but damn, Alice has got me on the look-out.

Yet, MORE American Idol Controversy.

This season, even more than seasons in the past, seems to be seeped in the 'C' word. Not only have we learned how many contestants this season had prior record deals (something that would not have been allowed in the past), now we're learning of yet more controversy involving contestants David Hernandez and Ramiele Malubay.

(AP) "American Idol" contestant David Hernandez once entertained audiences by removing his clothes instead of singing tunes, a manager at a male strip club in Phoenix told The Associated Press. The 24-year-old finalist from Glendale, Ariz., once worked as a stripper at Dick's Cabaret, appearing fully nude and performing lap dances for the club's "mostly male" clientele, club manager Gordy Bryan said Monday. "He had the look and the type that people like, so he made pretty good money here," Bryan said. It's not clear whether a history as a stripper could disqualify Hernandez from the competition. In 2003, finalist Frenchie Davis was dismissed because of her appearance on an adult Web site; but last year, Antonella Barba remained in the competition after racy photos of her surfaced on the Internet. Fox spokeswomen Jill Hudson did not immediately return telephone calls seeking comment Monday.

According to Bryan, Hernandez steadily worked at the club for three years until September 30, 2007. "He never renewed his licensing with the state, so he hasn't been on my roster since then," Bryan said. Bryan said he was aware that Hernandez was a vocalist, but that Hernandez never sang at the club. Bryan said he now believes Hernandez stopped working at the club because of his participation in "American Idol." Hernandez has never been referred to as a stripper or former stripper during the Fox singing competition. Rumors of a stripper past _ along with photos of a scantily clad Hernandez working as a bartender at gay nightclub Burn _ were first posted last week on VoteForTheWorst.com, a site that encourages "Idol" viewers to vote for "the bad and truly entertaining contestants." "It was like moths to a flame," said VoteForTheWorst.com founder Dave Della Terza. "As soon as I posted that, we started getting 10, 20 letters every single day from people saying, 'Yeah, he's a stripper in Phoenix.'"(From CBS news)

Racy photos said to be of "American Idol" contestant Ramiele Malubay have appeared on the Web, CelebTV.com reports. The photographs show the 20-year-old Florida native grabbing a female co-worker's breast at a sushi bar in Miramar, Fla. They appeared on a fan Facebook site, CelebTV.com reports. Another photo purportedly shows Malubay with a friend's hand on her breast. The singer, who says she's influenced by Aretha Franklin and Mariah Carey, lists her favorite quote as: "If you're hated, you're doing something right." She auditioned for the program in Miami. (From
FOX news)

Monday, March 3, 2008

Tyra Talks with Mike Huckabee about Homosexuality

Mike Huckabee, who has previously equated homosexuality with necrophilia, pedophilia, and bestiality, while also calling it a choice,went on "Tyra" to discuss his views on homosexuality. Why "Tyra"? Perhaps because, as Tyra put it, "I love the gays and the gays love me."

Really Mike?